The middle way and be like water

2010 was the year that changed the way I live and perceive "life". I had a knee injury from a basketball game and had to take one step back from plans made that year. The doctor did an arthroscopic surgery to fix the torn ACL and meniscus on my right knee. While resting and rehabilating, life was miserable but ironically, I found peace and contentment. Christians may call this the moment of salvation from God or "satori" from zen buddhism. Whatever it was, it came pure deep down from the buddha nature.

Before that, there were too many unanswered questions incessantly going on throughout the rehab/rest days. Thoughts like: What if I did not play the basketball game on that day, would things have been different? When will I be able to walk and hit the gym again? Will I ever be able to run and jump like I used to be? As I pondered these questions, I became more and more uneasy. While trying to connect the lines of what was going on, Echkhart Tolle, the author of the book, "The Power of Now", came to my mind. He has currently written two self-improvement books and produced many videos related to spiritual awakening. And then I realized the parallelism between my actions and those of Eckhart Tolle. Just like Eckhart Tolle's life story, his unhappy childhood and depression led him to suicidal thoughts and suffering. One day, he realized he was not living the moment and was attached to his old unhappy experiences. He was simply thinking too much about the future and past.

I believe humans are well-equipped with an innate ability to cope with suffering. Once one has passed a certain threshold in suffering, one will be on the path of enlightenment. It is like using your left and right sides of the brain at the same time. Enlightment is a result of the direct experience with intelectual understanding and intuitive knowing. While going through the same motions on a bad day at the hospital, another part of my mind (the awareness) sent a new message to the "the processing" mind that "I" had enough of this endless struggle. Naturally, "I" decided to meditate and recalled some instructions from meditation books and videos that I learned during free time. The words used in the videos could be different but the essence of the message was "Just let go and stop going deeper into the thoughts that came to your mind. Pay attention and concentrate on your breathing". I did as instructed without hoping for anything. This mental exercise was repeated many times a day for about a week. The mental suffering that had been inflicted onto "my ego self" ceased to exist after some time. Negative and positive thoughts come and go, but the mind remained calm and peaceful. In spiritual context, this is being mindful and dispassion of the attachment.

I asked myself, "Did I just experience Buddhism's Four Noble Truths or some kind of satori?" In the hospital, I was seeing different patients with different sufferings (mental, emotional and physical) and I was a patient myself. Hence, TRUTH 1: Life means suffering. But, there is another side of it. Living with a non-100% performing knee opened my eyes to the meaning of impermanence. The physical human body cannot escape aging, injury and illness. The more one resists, the more mental suffering or depressed one will be. Hence, TRUTH 2: Attachment is the origin of suffering. By attaining dispassion and being mindful, suffering can be ended. Hence, TRUTH 3: The cessation of suffering is attainable. The meditation exercises that I did (right concentration), came from one of THE NOBLE EIGHTFOLD PATHS. Hence, TRUTH 4: The path to the cessation of suffering.

Fast forward to 2011, my knee is still not as good as it was before the injury. However, I am content with the fact that I can walk and run around without a lot of issues. The lack of "perfectness" taught me not to seek perfection in life as there really isn't one. Everything one experiences in life is transient. Life itself is transient. Humility, compassion and gentleness have become new teachers and acquntainces in "my life". I will now go with the flow of life as like water would flow back and forth from the river to the sea (refer to Tao Te Ching's - Chapter 8). Learning to not label negative and positive or compare is not easily comprehensible but once one has found the essence of it, it is the most natural thing to do.

This article will be concluded by integrating two insights that have very "similar" meanings. Water (in liquid form) is the middle form of two extremes(dualities); ice (in solid form) and steam (in gas form). Ice and steam succumb to heat and cold by a few degrees of temperature changes. Water has a wider range of temperature scale before it changes state. A stable and balanced life is what one should work towards. So, take the middle path and be like water.